I was born into a heritage of faith that goes back many generations on both sides of my family. The local Methodist Church was the center of our family’s focus both as a place to worship and to serve. We moved many times during my childhood,but the church was the first point of connection in each town we lived in and the people in those churches were faithful to accept us and love us and make us a part of their spiritual families.
It was in these early years that my picture of who God is was formed. I learned that He is good,kind,reliable,loving,forgiving, compassionate,praiseworthy,trustworthy,and that His Word was true. I did not question anything that I was told about God,nor did my faith in Him fail. Since my parents’ standards and God’s were aligned,it is difficult to know who I was trying to please as I grew up and began to make my own decisions,but I certainly did my best not to disappoint anyone. I felt that I was accomplishing that goal pretty well,but was not challenged spiritually to look into the Word in a serious way nor to get to know God for myself,apart from what all of the loving people in my life had told me about Him.
During my college years and early married life,I began to desire a deeper knowledge of the Bible and tried to find it in several study groups. Even those associated with the church I found to be very shallow or academic and not at all satisfying. Since my husband was not a believer,I knew I would have a big responsibility to provide the faith training for our children and I knew I was not equipped.
I began to study the scriptures with Community Bible Study in 1987 and found that the method of consistent,disciplined,verse by verse study was what I had been looking for. My desire to know the Word of God was broadened and I then had a new thirst to know the God of the Word. My childlike picture of Him,while remaining true,was deepened. The Word revealed a God who is just,holy,demanding and who is able and desirous of transforming me. He is rightfully jealous of anything in my life that takes precedence over Him. Not only did I see a new picture of who God is,but I found that I was not hitting the mark as well as I may have believed. I came to realize that I am a sinner with no possibility of living up to God’s standards and that,on my own,I would never be able to satisfy His righteous requirements. But the righteousness that God demands,He provides for me through the sacrifice of Jesus. So in seeing my own need,I became profoundly grateful that the barrier of my sin is removed and I can have fellowship and personal relationship with God through Jesus.
This relationship has given me peace that although I will continue to disappoint God and others,I am accepted as the Lord’s daughter because I believe that God and Jesus are who the Word says they are and are able to do what the Word says they can do. I am strengthened day-by-day by His Spirit who guides and enables me to live a life of faithfulness to Him. I can live without worry or despair for the future since the Word says that God is sovereign over all things and that He desires what He knows is the very best for me,and that all things will ultimately bring glory to Him. It is my desire that my life serves towards that end.
